How Do You Define Yourself?

How do you define yourself?  

That was a question asked by Lizzie Velasquez, a 25 year old woman with a very rare syndrome that prevents her from gaining weight.  She has weighed no more than 64 pounds her whole life.  She cannot see out of her right eye and as you might imagine, her appearance is quite unusual.  Because of this, she was bullied much of her life.  It started on her first day of Kindergarten when another child ran away from her after Lizzie simply smiled at her and asked her to play.   This left her wondering what she did wrong.  Later, when she was in high school, someone posted an 8 second video of her and the comments on it included, "Kill it with Fire!", "Why not just pick up a gun and kill yourself?, and "Ugliest Woman in the World."  At that point, she realized she had a choice... she could let those comments, that hatred and that ignorance direct her down a path of self-loathing that could lead her to taking her own life, or she could let her goals, accomplishments and the love of her family and friends guide her towards a better, more accurate definition of herself. She chose the latter and let her goals of becoming a motivational speaker, author, and college graduate define her!

I see children every day feeling defined by what others think or say about them.  I've seen girls and boys brought to tears because they think that others are talking about them or leaving them out of conversations or moving away from them in the lunchroom on purpose.  They are being defined by the cruel acts of some and not by whom they truly are or what they want to be.

Our children need to understand that they define themselves by their actions towards others- good or bad - not by what someone is saying about them or how they look!   A nasty rumor about a kid who is genuinely kind and friendly to others is like a unicorn...it just doesn't exist.  So instead of focusing on the bullying and the negativity, let's empower our kids to focus on their strengths and let their positive goals and actions define them just like the brave Lizzie Velasquez! That's one way to end bullying!!