Managing After Super Storm Sandy

For many of us, this was the first time we have ever experienced the type of natural disaster that makes our local community unrecognizable.  It's also one of the few times that we have had extended periods with no power, heat or drinkable water.  Conditions like these create stress and a lot of it!  Our ability to cope with this high level of stress is influenced by many factors.  In addition, our coping skills and abilities will impact how our children react as well.  So here are some things we should know and do  in the wake of Sandy that will help the healing process and allow us to regain control over our lives.

First off, recognizing and accepting that everyone's reactions to the trauma differ and should not be judged as wrong or right is one thing that should be remembered.  Some of us get energized by distress and look to relieve it in physical ways...chopping wood, cleaning the house, etc.  Others of us need quiet time to take in the magnitude of everything and create a plan for what to do next.  Can you imagine the conflict that might erupt if a husband and a wife display these drastically different coping styles?  Believe me, it's not pretty!  But what must be understood is that neither way is better than the other and appreciation of the fact that we handle things differently can be very productive.

An important research finding from Dr. S.R. Maddi (2002) that looked at resiliency in the face of trauma, identified three key beliefs that helped people turn adversity into an advantage. Those three beliefs were commitment, control and challenge attitudes.  The Commitment attitude led individuals to strive to be involved in ongoing events, rather than feeling isolated. The Control attitude led them to struggle and try to influence outcomes, rather than lapse into passivity and powerlessness. The Challenge attitude led them to view stress changes, whether positive or negative, as opportunities for new learning.  These attitudes were something we put to good use in our house over the last week.  Feeling blessed that our power was restored relatively quickly, I still felt a sense of helplessness for the people who had lost so much in the storm.  In order to regain some control and recognizing that we have a commitment to a larger community, my kids and I started scouring our house for things we could donate to help out in the short-term.  It was amazing how empowering it was to be able to provide warm coats, blankets, boots, backpacks, sweaters, hats and gloves to people who really needed them (not to mention the added bonus of cleaning out our closets!).  I strongly recommend contacting your local houses of worship or the Boy/ Girl scout organizations in your area to find out how to donate these types of items.

Another really easy but very impactful way to help alleviate the stress we experience after a trauma is to open up and write about it.  In a classic 1988 study, Dr. James Pennebaker proved that deep disclosure improves mood, objective and subjective health, and the ability to function well.  So get to your journals, diaries, blogs and facebook posts and let your emotions flow!  Even our young kids can benefit from this type of intervention by drawing pictures of what they remember about the storm and dictating a description of the picture to you so you can write it for them.

Something we learned from the aftermath of 9/11, was that too much exposure to the media coverage of a disaster has extremely negative effects on the viewers.  Even if you didn't personally experience damage and loss of property from Sandy, the images on the news of leveled homes and flooded streets can create stress and anxiety within you and your children, so if you have power...a SpongeBob marathon may not be the worst thing for your children to view right now.

Of course, if you or your child are experiencing persistent anxiety and prolonged distress related to the hurricane that disrupts daily functioning, please be in touch so that I can help educate you about normal responses to extreme stress and make a plan for moving forward.